The key to a dick joke...any joke, really, but especially when gifting someone an actual box of dicks - is knowing your audience. Are dick jokes for your co-workers? Nope. For your in-laws? I mean, probably not...but you know them better than I do. For those in your life who will actually appreciate it, we include a gift card with every box. Need an idea for a message? Check out some of these...

Anniversaries: 

"Another year of the same dick. Happy anniversary."   

"I'm glad that if I only get one dick for the rest of my life, it's yours."    

"You give me a boner. Not a penis boner. A heart boner. A heart on. An affection erection."   

"Meeting you was the best thing I ever did for my penis."   

"You're a dick. But you're my dick."

Birthdays: 

"I hope your birthday is filled with plenty of love, laughter, and dick."   

"Happy birthday. Have a stiff one on me."   

"Happy birth_ay. (you'll get the D later)"   

"I hope your birthday is as good as your dick."   

"Another birthday, another wrinkle in the old nutsack."   

"One year closer to your dick not working anymore."

Encouragement: 

"Life is like a dick - sometimes it's up and sometimes it's down, but it won't be hard forever."   

"Wake up and punch today in the dick."

Break-ups: 

"There's plenty of dick in the sea. Congratulations on your divorce."   

"Ding dong, the dick is gone."   

"He was a dick. You're better off without him."

Weddings: 

"Same dick forever. Happy engagement/wedding/bachelorette."

Just because: 

"Almost every hand you've ever shaken has had a dick in it."   

"Purely for recreational use now, enjoy your vasectomy."   

"I think most people are dicks...not you guys though obviously. Thanks for inviting us for dinner."   

"It's not the size of the dick that matters, it's the fact that you understand the beginning of this sentence was a blatant lie."   

"You can't say happiness without penis."

"Miss you loads."   

"In a world full of knobs - you're my favourite."